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The excitement of all eyes on you as you take the "stroll" down the
aisle. If it only could be as easy as strolling! Learn
how to overcome the strange feeling that fills you right before and
during the walk down the aisle.
In this issue, you'll find helpful info on:
- Walking Down the Aisle
- Receiving Line
- FAQ: Do I have to have a ringbearer if I'm having a flowergirl?
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By
Allison Moir-Smith,
Emotionally Engaged Bridal Counseling
"DON'T BE NERVOUS," the wedding coordinator will say, followed by
the minister, your father, your sister, your maid-of-honor, and
your flowergirl.
Are they NUTS? Are they the ones wearing a big, white dress? Are
they about to make a lifelong commitment? In front of everyone
they love? With all eyes on them?
"Don't be nervous" -- I think not.
I believe that anyone who tells a bride not to be nervous during
the walk down the aisle is WRONG WRONG WRONG. Here are many
reasons why: |
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It is one of the Big Moments of life.
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It is a grand entrance.
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It is silent.
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It is ceremonial -- guests stand to honor you.
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It is transformative -- it marks the ending of one life and the
beginning of another.
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It is sad -- just look at your Dad.
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It is happy -- just look at your husband-to-be.
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It is epic and ancient -- think of the millions of brides
through the ages who have walked this walk before you.
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It is the most photographed walk of your life.
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It is life-changing and profound.
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Tension is supposed to build
Even architecturally, the aisle acts as a funnel: taking the big
feelings and funneling them into a smaller space, thereby turning
up the emotional heat.
Solution: invite the nervousness
What to do? Invite the nervousness and tension to accompany you
during your walk. It worked for me and my wedding party.
Before we walked down the aisle, I gathered my girls in a huddle
and said, "Listen, we're supposed to be nervous. I am about to
change my life in a huge way, and you guys are picking up on my
feelings. Plus, walking alone, with all eyes on you -- that's
stressful! So it's appropriate to be nervous. Don't fight it."
My Dad -- who, my older sisters reported, tends to chat down the
aisle -- even succumbed to the nervousness and big feelings.
"How are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm sad and happy. Sad I'm losing you and happy I'm gaining a new
son-in-law." It was exactly how I was feeling -- and had been
feeling for much of my engagement. We had a real and lovely
connection.
As we reached the entrance to the field where the ceremony was to
take place, we saw that guests were standing.
"Oh my God," I panicked. "Did I not order enough chairs?"
"No, honey," Dad said. "They're standing for us."
We laughed, holding each other calmly and warmly down the
meandering path to where Jason, weepy-eyed and moved, was waiting
for me.
About the author: Allison Moir-Smith, M.A.,
is the author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to
the Ups-and-Downs of Getting Married, to be published in
February 2006 by Penguin.
Be The Happiest You Can Be! Emotionally
Engaged's innovative premarital counseling gives brides and
engaged couples the tools, tips, and techniques to thrive
during the ups-and-downs of being engaged. Want to be the
happiest you can be? Let us help! Visit:
www.emotionallyengaged.com.
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The receiving
line is a great way to formally greet all your guests. It
is also a sure way that you will be able to speak with
each guest. The receiving line can be done directly after
the ceremony or at the beginning of the reception.
If you decide to do the receiving line after the ceremony,
you can have it right outside the ceremony site's doors.
Such as in the hallway, vestibule or even outside. If you
are holding the receiving line at the beginning of the
reception, you can have it right before your guests enter
the reception site doors, in the lounge or in the lobby.
Traditionally, the bride's parents will line up first in
the receiving line. They will be the first to greet the
guests. The bride and groom will stand next to them in
line. Followed by the groom's parents. If you would like
to include your attendants, they will follow the groom's
parents in line.
Not sure what to say? You can start by introducing your
guests to your parents, if they have not yet met. Then make
sure that you thank them for coming.
You may choose to forgo the receiving line. If this is the
case, you must make sure that you say a few words of
thanks at the reception.
More>
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My
sister is going to be my Maid of Honor at our wedding. I have
asked her daughter to be our flowergirl (she is my
goddaughter). My fiance and I do not know any little boys
that could be a ring bearer. Do we have to have one? |
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No,
just because you have a flower girl, doesn't mean that you
have to have a ring bearer. You should only include children
who are important to you. |
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Solutions, All Rights Reserved |
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On an emotional roller coaster?
Feeling Crazy?
GET RELIEF!
Relationship Tune-Ups
Want to focus on your relationship before you walk down
the aisle?
Was your marriage prep class too much religion, not enough
YOU?
Then a Relationship Tune-Up is right for you. In just 4
sessions, you and your fiance will get the tools, tips,
and techniques to nurture your relationship and build a
better foundation for your marriage.
Learn these essential emotional skills BEFORE you walk
down the aisle.
Call for your FREE 30 minute consultation.
Emotionally Engaged
617.739.5353
Brookline, MA
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Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul
Romantic, humorous, touching, and true, Chicken Soup for the
Bride's Soul will help you look ahead to your wedding day with
joy instead of stress, and remind you of the treasured
memories created during this special time.
But more than that, these stories bring to light the true
meaning of love and commitment, whether you're newly engaged,
recently married, or reflecting on years of married bliss.
Click to view thread colors.
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