Choosing Attendants
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By Christina Friedrichsen, Intimate
Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits
Your Budget & Style,
www.intimate-weddings.com
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Having
a whole crew of bridesmaids doting over me on my big
day definitely would not have suited me. I wanted simplicity;
one maid of honor and one flower girl was just perfect
for me. My husband felt the same way and chose only
a best man and a ring bearer as his attendants.
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Photo by
Leatherwood Photography |
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Some
brides and grooms, however, love the idea of having
a huge bridal party.
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| For these
couples, having lots of loved ones by their side makes the day
more fun and special. |
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| Some couples choose a team of attendants simply because they
feel pressured to do so. Perhaps they've stood up in friends'
weddings and feel obligated to return the favor. Maybe they
feel as though a slew of attendants is a wedding requirement. |
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| After
speaking to numerous couples, I'm glad to say that the rules
about attendants are changing-especially for intimate weddings.
Some brides and grooms choose to have no attendants, and others
ask their mothers, fathers, or children to stand with them.
Gender roles have changed, too. Men choose women as honor
attendants and vice versa. A friend of mine, for instance,
served as her brother's "best woman." |
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| You
should feel free to ask the most special person in your life
aside from your sweetie to serve as your honor attendant even
if that person is of the opposite sex. If you consider your
mother to be your best friend, have her take on the role.
You can even go it alone. Do whatever feels right. |
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| Involving
family and friends |
| Because
of the personal nature of an intimate ceremony, involving
loved ones seems natural. Whether you have five guests or
fifty, you have many options for including your friends and
family |
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| Having
a loved one perform a reading during the ceremony is a wonderful
way to get someone close to you involved. My oldest brother
read a favorite poem during our ceremony, and a dear friend
said a prayer that she had written especially for us. |
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| Those who suffer stage fright might serve as ushers or work
behind the scenes before the ceremony. If there are children-your
own or someone else's-in your life, you can find several ways
to get them involved. Flower girls, ring bearers, and junior
bridesmaids can all add special charm to your wedding-and
the children will have unforgettable experiences. Keep in
mind that not all children enjoy the spotlight. Some children
may prefer to distribute wedding programs, light candles,
or hand out bubbles for blowing after the ceremony. |
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| If
you decide to include children in your ceremony, keep in mind
that kids can be unpredictable. If you're the type that can't
handle little surprises, you might want to leave the participation
to the adults. |
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Find a
list of tasks
traditionally assigned to the bridal party.
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