Rhode Island Wedding Guide

Wedding Planning

Children

After deciding to get married, it's important that you inform the children about your plans before you tell anyone else. They need to know how this will impact their life. Will there be lots of changes or just a few changes?


Photo by Timeless Imagery

If you are still on friendly terms with your ex, share the news with him (even invite him to the wedding if it won't make an uncomfortable situation). If you include him, your children will see that they don't have to take "sides" when it comes to their parents.

Children need to know that they are still loved and respected. One way to show them is by including them in your wedding planning. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Let them choose a reading that they may like to read at the ceremony.
  • They can help you create the wedding program.
  • Let them choose a song they would like to sing at the ceremony.
  • Take them along when you go dress shopping.
  • Have them select their own wedding attire (with some restrictions!).
  • If you have a daughter, take her to get her hair, nails and makeup done.
  • Have them choose their own bouquet or boutonniere.

Not all children will even want to be included. This may be a hard situation for them to handle. If they are old enough, they may resent you for marrying again. If this is the case, don't push them to be involved in your wedding planning. They just need time to adjust.

If all goes well and the children are happy with your decision, there are many ways you can include them in your wedding and make them feel like part of the family. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Have a Family Medallion Ceremony.
  • Have them walk you down the aisle and give you away.
  • Let them stand with you at the altar as you say your vows.
  • Be a flower girl, ring bearer, usher, bridesmaid or groomsman.
  • Sing a song or play an instrument.
  • Read a poem or passage during the ceremony.
  • Pass out birdseed or rose petals to your guests.
  • Hand a single rose or carnation to each guest.

Just remember, the most important thing is that they feel like part of the family!


Click to view a variety
of family medallions.

Family Medallion Ceremony

If a parent gets remarried after a divorce or the death of their spouse, they may decide to have a family medallion ceremony. After the couple exchange wedding rings, their children join them at the altar. The bride and groom will then place a sterling-silver medal around the neck of each child and pledge their love to them.

The Family Medallion symbol includes three equally merged circles: two circles represent the marriage union; the third symbolizes the importance of children within the family.

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